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  • Writer's pictureKatePaulyne Tayco

5 Modern Ways to Give Away the Bride

Bride with mother and father lifting veil

Centuries ago, many people believed that a daughter is her father’s property. Thus, she should be married and be given away to a gentleman her father has chosen. In exchange for a dowry, the patriarch will offer his daughter’s hand to the man he found reputable.

However, modern brides deem this belief as sexist and that it objectifies women, so they want to either alter it with unconventional ways or to ditch this at all. With this, here are the five contemporary alternatives of giving away the bride at her wedding ceremony.

Bride escorted by her father to walk down the aisle

1. The Tradition with a Twist

Typically, the officiant or ministers ask the bride’s father a question as part of the ceremony, whether he will give away his daughter or not. While some brides are comfortable with the old-school wording, others may prefer distinctive verbosity with the corresponding meaning. Here are some up-to-date questions your officiant can use:

· Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

· Do you present this bride to be wed today with the blessing of both her parents?

· Who grants their consent for this bride to marry this groom today?

· Who supports this woman to marry this man today?

· Who brings this woman to be married to this man?

For the questions, the father or parents of the bride can answer “I do,” “We do,” or “Her mother and I do.”

2. Both Parents Belong

A new way to present the couple to each other on their wedding ceremony is to include both sets of parents in giving their daughter and son to each other. The officiant or vicar asks the question, while the bride and the groom’s parents will answer in unison. Check out these format as references:

· Who stands with this woman/man to represent her/his family and traditions? (to ask both sets of parents separately)

· Who bestows this couple to be married?

· Who presents this woman and this man to be married to each other?

· Who gives this man and woman permission to be married to each other?

· Do you the parents of the bride and the groom entrust them to one another as they come to be married?

· Who supports this couple's decision to marry?

With these styles of giving away, the parents of the couple can answer “We do” in unison or separately, having permitted the couple to get married to each other.

3. Feminist-Inspired

Another approach to giving the bride is to recognize her choosing to marry her groom but with her parent’s blessing. The officiant can ask, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” The audience or her parents will answer, “She gives herself, but with her family's blessing.”

Father giving away the bride on wedding day

4. Non-Verbal Cues

If your parents are not comfortable in giving a response verbally in front of your families and friends, they can opt to answer with non-verbal cues. Gestures like hugging, high five, handshake, or kissing are modernized ways to transfer the hand of the bride to her groom.

5. Give Up the Giving Away

While some couples want to do this tradition on their day, others may not. If you are a modern couple, you can try these alternatives instead of giving away:

· The bride is not given away but walks herself down the aisle, or the couple can be at the ceremony early to welcome the guests

· The bride and groom together walk down the aisle to join by their bridal party

· The groom meets his bride at the end or middle of the altar. They can give their parents a gift as a sign of respect.

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